Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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