Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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