if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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