Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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