You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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