god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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