Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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