I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
