Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
