just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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