he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
