Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
