Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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