So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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