he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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