big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
