Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
