Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
