I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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