We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
