I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
