things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize