I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
