U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize