I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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