But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize