Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
