Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize