Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
