we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
