We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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