you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize