I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
