I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
