she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
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