I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Randomize
