would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
