The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
