Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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