that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
