Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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