Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
