So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
