I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
