Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think I am morally bankrupt
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
