he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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