I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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