It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
