I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
