planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
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He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
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That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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