it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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