eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
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i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
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The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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