No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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