Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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