he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
