I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
two words...techno handjob
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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