But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
