Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize