Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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