see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
