please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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