Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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