I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...