We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit