check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.