We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?