I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize