Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
