omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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