he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize