i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
A bitchslap is in order.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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