i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
